Farewell, my friend


Today, 13th December 2016 at 18:52 - I was informed that one of my best friend, Rini Cesillia, passed away. 

I'm sure if you're follow me long enough you'll know who she is, and even if you don't you'll know who she is because she's on of the most updated and popular Beauty Blogger from Indonesia. Me, myself, met her through blog and comments.

We first met for the first time back in Summer 2014. Rini Cesillia, whom I like to call ci Rini, was attending a Laneige beauty workshop and she's extending her trip for 4 more days. That time I was on summer holiday too and I had nothing better to do so I jumped on the train, and met her for the first time - and then spend 4 days 3 nights together.

one of our first pictures together,

Even though we're girls, it's not easy to suddenly have to spend 3+ nights with a so called "stranger" - BUT as weird as it sounds, we hit it of since the first second we met. In real life, she's very soft spoken and humble, definitely more mature than me. 

We had a very particular sense in traveling, we LOVE to spend time in cafe - cafe hopping, that's what we called it. That we can "hop" to 3 different cafes just to feel the difference in the ambience (and obviously took loads and loads of picture). This particular thing is definitely can't be found in a lot of people - whilst others probably prefer to look at tourist spots. I remember in Bangkok, when sun was scorching hot and we're in this golden temple and it kept reflects the sun and we're like "let's get out of here, no more temples, LET'S HIT THE CAFE" and that's it - I know I found my travel mate. 

That one paragraph, could never describe the connection I have with her. Our relationship was much deeper that it looks. A lot of people thought we hang with each other because we're blogger - inevitably there's a lot of events where we met with each other - but this day, make me realise, our relationship was much, much more than that.

There's one time, ci Rini just sat on my car and cry the whole way back to her apartment. And there's also days where I, in the driver seat, just talking non sense the whole time we're stuck in the traffic. Or there's one time when we're soooo hungry that we're just THAT'S IT, KFC TIME, and we cancelled the event just because we're too hungry to socialise. LOL.

When I first heard the news. I was like, no wait what? Oh right they're must be joking because the article got the same name with ci Rini lol. And then I realised, Stella (the first witness) actually called me at noon but I didn't get the notifications because we're not friends (in line) with each other. And then people reaction we're hysterical.

I was just sitting, with my friend, Emil, sipping KOI Cafe, in the mall and I was like, "Emil, my best friend just passed away, what should I do.." 

I felt bad in a way for Emil, because clearly I'm in a utter shock and she had to witness that. I'm sorry. Emil said I shouldn't panic, cancel our cinema plan and making sure I'm driving safely. 

Then, I drove back home, thinking. you know, you're gonna get home as fast as you can, and you check all the facts and you'll gonna wake up from this nightmare and everything going to be alright. But, the traffic was a biatch and I saw more and more posts about her, saying RIP Rini. 

"Wow... it must be the truth then"

Until now, until I'm writing this post, I felt like well, I shouldn't post it, because tomorrow, ci Rini will be in Jakarta and she'll be laughing all this sh*ts and said I was just kidding! Hey let's plan our trip next year!

The more I write this post, the more regret I felt about everything. She's my big sis - a big sis from another mother. My friends that aren't mutually connected to ci Rini even said their condolences "I don't know her personally, but I saw her on your instagram a lot" or "I heard you talking about her a lot".

2014 - 2016 is a very short period. But during those 2 years, I'm glad we got to travel twice, Seoul and Bangkok, together. I can't count how many stories and memories I have of you, ci. I still feel like you're going to line me right now and arrange another date. 

Right now I'm crying, then pull myself together, I prayed, and it goes another round. In the same time I'M MAD. Most news in Indonesia was just click-baiter, showing picture shouldn't be published online!! Not only degrading the victim, but also not respecting the ci Rini's family and friends. In a way some websites are crossing the line and can be proceed by law - let's just see how it turns later.

Recent days, I've been feeling quite down, there's a lot of drama going on with my friends and mates, and even the day before this I got into a mouth fight plus super bad service from a eyelash extension salon which eventually plugs off my sanity cords. I drove through the highway in tears on Monday, and who will thought that on Tuesday I'm still doing the same thing? Crying on the highway?

Anyway, I want to end this post with a positive note. Value your friendship - I was talking trash the day before on how I could cut someone's out of my life in a second if they challenge my value - but now, I'm here in a huge realisation that our days are numbered. We don't want to regret anything, right?

Ci Rini, I'm glad I could met you and fill your years with laughter and fun stories. I'll never forget you big-onnie! 언니 잘 가요! 짱 사랑해! 

Have a great night, sugars! xx


  1. FILLLLLLL! stay strong yaaahhh <3 semoga Rini ditempatkan di tempat terbaik di sisiNya *hug* pemberitaan online emang ga pada punya otak :(

  2. I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know her but I believe she lived a great life.

  3. ah, deep condolences. masih lumayan sering ke blognya untuk baca review :( sending you strength.

  4. I have been following both of you for these two years, I could see you are best friend to each other. Indonesian Beauty Blogger lost one precious soul. Cuma bisa berdoa agar Ci Rini bahagia di sana. pemberitaan online emang pd ga punya otak :\

  5. yang kuat Fil, Rini udah senang disana, dia bisa nyanyi buat Tuhan.
    Kita sama-sama doakan Rini ya Fil :)

  6. Turut berduka juga filia, aku inget waktu kalain post traveling ke Korea & Bangkok & kalian kayak udah akrab banget. Semoga kelak nanti kita di pertemukan kembali di sana :-)

  7. Fil, aku pun merasakan apa yang kamu rasakan :'( please stay strong fil.. banyak orang yang mencintai Rini dan kita sama-sama mendoakan Rini.

    Untuk media online yang kurang ajar itu, sudah diurus ke Dewan Pers dan mereka akan mendapatkan sanksi yang setimpal.


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